


All My Days - Malec Oneshots

by positivelypitch



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt Alec Lightwood, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, Soft Malec
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-21
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:21:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26585050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/positivelypitch/pseuds/positivelypitch
Summary: Hi my loves! Sooooo I'm gonna try and write some Malec one shotssss.There's gonna be a mix of fluff and angst, and maybe even some smut if that's what you guys would like!Feel free to leave recs and prompts! Or I'll end up getting writers block ahhhhhhhhLove y'all -Rosie x
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 8
Kudos: 33





	1. Okay

**Tw: Depiction of minor panic attacks**

Alec shut Magnus’ front food behind him and leaned heavily against it, gasping for breath. He had stumbled up the stairs in a sort of dizzy haze, wanting only to get to his boyfriend’s apartment, where he knew he would be safe and cared for. It was that vulnerability again, like being caught in a fight, your weapon broken and demons swarming. Except this was worse somehow. He never fought alone. He always had his Parabati or his sister at his back. But feeling like this… He just felt so _alone_. 

And it was that feeling that had him spluttering in Magnus’ hallway, whilst Magnus himself ran up to him.  
“Alec! Alexander, what’s wrong my love?”  
Magnus reached him before he could answer, strong, steady arms wrapping around him. Alec felt his knees buckle, and Magnus helped them both gently to the floor, his hand pushing back Alec’s hair, as his cat eyes searched Alec’s own.  
“What is it Alexander?”  
Alec shook his head violently.  
“Alec, I need you to breathe with me. I think you might be having a panic attack.”

Magnus began to exaggerate his breathing and Alec did his best to copy, but his mind was whirling. His father’s words playing over and over in his head.  
“Is me touching you okay?” Magnus’ soothing voice drifted into the forefront of Alec’s mind. “If it’s not, let me know. Sometimes people don't like to be touched when things like this happen.”  
“It's okay. It's okay you can keep holding me. Please- please keep holding me.”  
“Okay my love.” Magnus brushed back Alec’s hair again and pressed a soft kiss to the younger boy’s forehead.

Slowly, Alec felt himself become more aware of his surroundings. The dizzying static was gone from his head, and he would hear Magnus breathing too, and the sound of a bubbling potion coming from the front room. Before, when things like this happened, when he got too scared of what Jace would think of him, or when, like today, he overheard his father, making his _very_ outdated and conservative views known, Alec would just get through it on his own. He couldn’t count the times he had retreated to his room in the institute, and muffled his panicked sobs in his pillows. It was a much longer thing, and it usually left him feeling like shit for the next few days. 

Except Magnus was here now. And he was not in the harsh, grey institute. But instead in a firelight penthouse, in his boyfriend’s arms. _His boyfriend._ A boyfriend whom he loved, and whom it was okay to love. He knew that now. No matter what he might hear his father tell his mother, it was okay to love this man. 

Later, he would tell Magnus about his father. About how his dad had hissed at his mom that Alec had “Let them down” and “disgraced the family”. And Alec would tell Magnus that he was proud of who he was, and who he was with, but that hearing all the scorns he had thought were just whispered behind his back, coming from his father’s mouth, struck a little too close to home.

He buried his head in Magnus’ shoulder, as Magnus whispered sweet nothings to him. And it was okay in that moment. He would be okay.


	2. Blueberry Muffins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An AU! all mundane. Alec owns his own bakery, and Magnus is a single father, new to the area. 
> 
> Thank you for the lovely prompt from Glitterbunny! It was so fun to write! 
> 
> -Rosie x

Alec brushed the icing sugar off the front of his apron, and leaned against the counter. He loved the shop at this time, just before opening, the glass showcase brimming with freshly baked goods and the only other sound, his sister decorating the bigger cakes in the back. Of course, Alec _never_ let Isabelle actually _make_ the icing. That was a recipe for disaster, and possibly a lawsuit for food poisoning, but Izzy had a flair for design, and a way of working delicate decorations that Alec’s big hands just couldn’t. A lot of people were surprised when they found out that Alec owned his own bakery, being built more like an athlete. He had played sports back at school, all sports, but he always felt out of place. Or at least, not as at home as he did when he was baking. 

So, as soon as he could get away from his parents, he opened his own shop in the city. I mean, it was _tiny_. There was no room for tables or seating, not really enough for more than a few customers inside at once. And yet, people still queued around all away around the block just to try Alec’s famed doughnuts or cream horns. Izzy had left with him, feeling just as restrained under the hopes their parents held for them. His brothers, always the favourites, had stayed at home, and Alec’s destiny to run the family business had fallen onto Jace’s shoulders. Not that Jace minded. In fact, every other day, Jace took Max to get lunch at the bakery, and Alec always put aside a red velvet cupcake for his youngest brother (And a triple chocolate brownie for Jace). 

“Alec! It’s already past eight! Have you unlocked the doors?”  
_Shit._ He hadn’t. Alec rushed to the doors and twisted the knob, and twisted the handmade sign that Clary had painted for him, to show the word ‘Open’.

It didn’t take long for customers to pile up, some regular, some not. It was all fast paced, but Alec made sure to always be kind, and to chat to everyone, especially the faces he saw day to day. 

“New coat? It’s lovely!”  
“Well, we cater for parties if that’s what you’re looking for.”  
“Oh, gosh Happy Birthday! Here, take this, on us. Have a lovely day!”

Almost all his customers left smiling, even the grumpy new yorkers on their commute. Some were harsh, or curt, but Alec couldn’t blame them. He too had a temper he had worked hard to control, especially when he was younger, and thought something was wrong with him for only liking boys. It was better now. He would be himself here. And so, he greeted everyone with a smile - it was up to them if they wanted to smile back. 

_Finally,_ the morning rush died out. There was always a lull around eleven o’clock, before lunch. He was taking his time to restock the shelves and the counter, filling the bread baskets, when there was a gentle thump at the window. He turned, to see a little boy, wearing a blue anorak, decorated with dinosaurs (and matching rubber boots), pressing his face up against the window. His big eyes were marveling at the brightly coloured cakes in the window display, practically drooling. Alec’s heart swelled as the boy tugged on his father’s hand, who was turned looking at the busy street, and pointed at the shop. 

Alec finished putting everything away and went to stand behind the counter, and the bell on the door rang, and they both came in. Alec froze; the man was beautiful, taller than him by an inch or too, with brown skin and golden-brown eyes, rimmed with glitter eyeliner. He wore a black coat, and had a very small pink and orange backpack slung over one of his arms, designed to look like butterfly wings. Alec assumed it must have been the boy’s, but you never knew. Either way, the man pulled it off. 

“Sorry,” The man chuckled, “He sees cupcakes and just has to come in, the little demon.”  
Alec grinned, and he grinned back.  
“No problem at all! I was the same when I was his age. How old are you buddy?”  
The kid looked up at his dad, who inclined his head, smiling softly.  
“Go on, Max, I’m sure the nice man doesn’t bite.” Max looked dubious.  
“I’m Alexander. Well, everyone calls me Alec. S-some people say Alex if they mishear but yeah no it’s..” Alec trailed off, realising he was rambling.  
“Well, _Alexander_ ,” Alec almost shivered at the way he said his name. “I’m Magnus, and this,” Magnus reached down to pick up his son. “Is Max, and he’s three, by the way. Or thereabouts; I adopted him when he was around eight months old, but I can't be sure. He was abandoned outside a school I was lecturing at and I- don’t know why I’m telling you this. Sorry.”

Alec didn’t want him to stop talking. He wanted to know more about Magnus, and didn’t know why. 

“No, don’t be. That’s amazing!” Magnus flushed and inclined his head in thanks.  
“It’s a decision I’ve never looked back on. Some people are judgy and say it takes two to raise a child, but Max and I have gotten on just fine just the two of us, haven’t we blueberry. Max giggled and reached for the bag on Magnus’ shoulder. Magnus switched him to the other arm and slung the bag off his arm. It fell right to the floor.  
“Oh, oops, sorry one sec sweetheart-”  
Alec came quickly around the counter and bent to pick up the bag.  
“Let me get that for you.”  
“Oh, thank you!” 

Max made grabby hands for the bag. “Toins, Papa. Toins fora bloobwy muffin!”  
“Oh right! Sorry, I completely forgot what I came in here to do! Er, one blueberry muffin please and an iced coffee. For me obviously, Max had a sip once and it was enough to make him run screaming around the flat for two hours straight.”  
“Coming right up!”

When Alec had packaged Max’s muffin in a little box, and made Magnus’ iced coffee, he turned back to them, and discovered what ‘Toins’ had meant. Max was grinning impishly and holding out two plastic coins that must have been from a play set. Alec couldn’t help it, his heart swelled and he laughed aloud.  
“Thanks buddy.” Magnus flashed him an apologetic smile, and subtly swiped his card into the machine when Alec typed the items into the register. He winked at Alec, who nearly fainted at the motion.

He _had_ to see Magnus again, see him smile again.  
“Do you um, live round here. In brooklyn?”  
Magnus took the box and handed it to Max, who eyed it hungrily.  
“Yeah, we just moved in around the block.”  
“Oh, well, you should come again. If the um, muffin is satisfactory.”

 _Satisfactory? Seriously? No one talks like that._ Alec chided himself.

“Yeah,” Magnus smiled a soft, genuine smile that made Alec’s heart swell. “Yeah I’d like that.”

Max waved his chubby little hand. “Bubye Awic!”  
“Bye buddy, you enjoy that muffin yeah?”. Magnus mouthed _thank you_ as he took the coffee and Max’s play coins. 

The bell chimed as the two left the shop, and Alec turned, humming happily, to see Izzy leaning in the kitchen doorway, a knowing smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little longer, and a bit different. Let me know if you want more like this!
> 
> Stay safe my loves!  
> -Rosie x


	3. Unfinished Business

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus visits Alec's resting place on his birthday, a year after Alec's death.   
> Alec's ghost is there to be with him one last time.

Magnus knelt in the floor of the Crypt. He hadn’t really expected to ever come back to Idris, at least not so soon.  _ Live fast, die young.  _ That may as well have been a Shadowhunter saying. 

He put his hand over the name on the plaque in front of him.

_ Consul Alexander Gideon Lightwood Bane _

“Alexander…” 

Dust fell away as Magnus’ hand shook. Maybe it was the September chill settling in. Maybe it was something else.

“Happy birthday my archer boy.”

“Thank you.”

Magnus turned around at the sound of his name, and there, standing over him was the spectral figure of his shadowhunter love. Alec’s hair floated ethereally around his head like a dark halo. He was wearing the pressed white suit that he had been burned in, and his Lightwood and wedding rings glistened on his translucent hand. Magnus twisted his wedding ring absently at the sight.

“Magnus, my love,”

Alec sounded far away, and yet, after nearly a year, Magnus’s body still remembered what it was like to be near Alec. He ached with a familiar sort of pain to be close to his husband again. His mind would not register that this was wrong. Alec was dead. He had lived happily, he was the kindest person Magnus had ever known. He shouldn't be a ghost.

“You shouldn’t have unfinished business.” 

“I don’t.” Alec smiled. “But we can make ourselves seen if we wish to. That is a choice. And I wanted to see you.”

Magnus sobbed.

“The-the boys wanted to come Alexander. They miss you so much but they’re both so busy. Rafe- Rafe and Leah had their wedding finally.”

“I know.”

“He wanted you to be there.”

“I know.”

“So did I…”

“Magnus,”

Alec was kneeling in front of him. Magnus hadn’t seen the action happen, and yet know they were face to face.

“I _ was  _ there.”

“Oh.”

Alec put his hand to Magnus’ cheek, and it cooled the flush that had built up from his raging emotions. 

“Alec,  _ God  _ I miss you every day. It  _ hurts. _ ” 

“I miss you too my love.”

“Wait for me, please.”

Alec shook his head solemnly. “I can’t do that, for the purely selfish reason that I don’t want to imagine you dying. Stay around, if not for yourself, then for Max Don’t turn your back on love, find someone, be happy.”

Alec’s words took Magnus back to Malcolm Fade, his friend who could not handle the loss of his nephilim lover. Magnus had not understood why Malcolm could not move on. He did now, and he repeated Malcolm’s words to the ghost of his husband.

“I do not ever want another love, Alexander.”

Alec smiled sadly. 

“That’s ok. I wouldn’t if it was you. I love you so much Magnus Bane, you are not allowed to forget that. I will haunt the fuck out of you if you do.”

Magnus laughed despite himself. “That’s Magnus Lightwood-Bane to you. Death isn’t going to get you out of this little contract.”

A small, youthful and mischievous smile played on Alec’s lips, and he looked like the boy Magnus had met all those years ago. After a moment, both of them were laughing, but Magnus was crying as well, because it all felt so final. 

“Ok then, Magnus Lightwood-Bane. Be happy for me.”

“Wait! Alexander! I love you too. I- I didn’t say that. I meant to. But you know that anyway- Fuck I can’t... ...Do you really have to go?”

“I do.”

Magnus reached out and clasped Alec’s hand. It felt strange, like it was hollow. 

“Ok, that’s ok.”

“You can do it Magnus.”

“I can- I will, my love. For you.”

**Author's Note:**

> So that was short but oh wellllll. I know that many people experience panic attacks differently, but I just tried to write what I've felt before. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought in the comments, and kudos are always appreciated. If you have a prompt you want to see me write let me know!


End file.
